The 5 Steps: how to start a conversation about suicide with a loved one

Starting a conversation about suicide with someone you care about can be scary but it’s a crucial first step in supporting them – and it can make all the difference. We offer practical steps and suggestions for compassionate language to help you navigate this sensitive topic one step at a time, creating a safe space for open dialogue and support.

1. Step up: ask about suicide

Choose a private and safe space. Begin the conversation by sharing your concern in a non-judgmental way, such as:

  • “I care about you, and I want to make sure you’re doing okay. Can we talk?”
  • “I’m really concerned about you, sometimes when people are feeling the way you are feeling they think about suicide. Are you thinking about killing yourself?”

2. Step in: listen attentively

Listen without judgment and with empathy and respect. Validate their feelings by acknowledging their pain.

  • “That sounds really tough. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. Can you tell me more?”
  • “Thank you for trusting me with this. I’m here for you.”

3. Step to safety: develop a safety plan

If your loved one expresses suicidal thoughts, it’s important to ensure their immediate safety.

  • “Let’s make a plan to keep you safe. Who can we reach out to for help right now?”
  • “Would it help if we removed any items that you might use to harm yourself?”

4. Step forward: encourage professional help

Let them know you want to help and connect them with professional support.

  • “I’m here with you, and we can get through this one step at a time. Would it help if we talked to someone together?”
  • “You don’t have to go through this alone. There are people who can help. Would you be open to talking to a counselor?”

5. Step by step: follow up regularly

After the initial conversation, check in regularly to see how they are doing and remind them of your ongoing support. This can help especially as different stressors pile up.

  • “I’ve been thinking about you. How have you been feeling since we last talked?”
  • “I’m still here for you, one step at a time. Let’s keep checking in.”